All Chennaiites know what kind of roads we have (and my friends from other cities assure me that it is not better elsewhere!), and the peculiar problems the autos in Chennai pose to both locals as well as visitors. The two problems, when combined have a potent (lethal?) effect – Try going around Chennai roads in an auto rickshaw, and you’ll know what I mean! People lament, crib about these two aspects of Chennai, but folks, there is a silver line to any dark cloud, and so here are some really great ‘advantages’ of the Chennai road + auto combination.

 

1.                          I have been on a lot of amusement park rides, from the sudden drop ride (Vegas special – don’t remember the exact name but still remember the feeling!) to the more innocuous but all-time favourite roller-coaster ride in our very own Kishkinta or VGP Golden beach. Some of my friends who are harassed parents, crib to me how during summer holidays their kids are always pestering them to take them to amusement parks. Well, the next time kids pester, leave out the car, bus and bikes and choose our very own three-wheeler, and I assure you, the kids won’t pester you again! 45 minutes – 1 hour ride in Autos in Chennai will easily surpass any amusement park ride in terms of pure action and stomach-wrenching adventure! And the ‘traveling experience’ will be better than the experience in the destination! And, the hole in your pocket will be much smaller than what these amusement parks would make! The best thing is, even if you and your kids survive the trip, the kids won’t have any energy left over once they reach their destination, so that’s a lot of money saved!

2.                          There is a research finding (unconfirmed) which says that bumpy rides may actually help in fighting obesity. The logic behind that is, after a full meal, if you go on a bumpy ride, it helps the stomach to break down the composite food, as the churning in the abdomen is triple-fold. And, food digests faster (or in some cases, it is totally regurgitated, depending on the scale of the bumpy ride!) so there is no chance of it getting converted to fat, and we have a simple yet effective way to combat obesity! Forget long work outs in the gym and the Atkins diet!

3.                          Most of the autos in Chennai have this saying displayed at the back – ‘Prasavathukku ilavasam’ (Free for delivery) meaning for any mom-to-be in labour, they won’t charge any auto fare.  My humble interpretation – it is actually ‘Prasavam ilavasam (Free delivery), since the bumpy rides in autos in Chennai have proven to be effective in hastening labour, and in extreme cases, there may be a free delivery even before reaching the hospital! Now, all the ladies, don’t come with brooms and rotten tomatoes to hit me for being so insensitive, I always wondered the effect of a bumpy ride on pregnant women and wondered why auto-wallahs have this saying at the back, that’s all!

4.                          Everyone who has even visited Chennai for a week knows that the meter in the auto is like our brains, we all know it is there, but no one uses it! I find it funny whenever our Government decides to change auto-fares; as if that has any effect on what the autowallahs actually charge! The good deal about such ‘flat rates’ is that they increase your ‘bargaining power’ – after years of traveling by Chennai autos you can become a champion—bargainer who can buy loads of stuff for very little money! I assure you, this skill proves extremely useful from our very own Pondy Bazaar to Palika Bazaar.

5.                          The bargaining and the arguments you have with the autowallahs right in the morning on the way to your office will truly wake you up from Monday blues (or Morning blues, in my case), and the action-packed ride itself will put you in peak mental alertness once you reach office. Try our very own exhilarating and adventurous auto ride to office and notice the alertness and sharpness in you even before the usual walk to the coffee machine!

6.                          Forget the assertive communication courses – auto rides in Chennai will beat them with their sheer practicality. Over years (or even months) of bargaining and arguing with the auto drivers, you can naturally become assertive and even manipulative!

7.                          Action movie fans – it is such a pity that you can’t practically experience all the fast car-chasing scenes or the suspense elements you love so much. No problem – for a small (?!) fare you can experience the same action sequence (through the winding, bumpy roads of Chennai) as well as suspense (whether we’ll actually make it to the destination in one piece is suspense enough!), so why waste Rs 100-150 on a movie ticket when you can 'live' the action!